Prairiecrow's InsaneJournal

Got up at 4 pm. Obviously my body still needs a lot of rest. Back's feeling better, but I'm exhausted.

Gotta get to the bank tomorrow and deposit a cheque. And get groceries. And return some library books. And... yeah. A lot of stuff.

Had a shower today. I feel so accomplished. And that's sad.

Watching Intervention, because reminding myself that other people have more messed-up lives than I do sometimes helps.

Depressed. Bleeding. No motivation. No complete sentences, either.

Blah.

Off to try and write. At least have the day count for something, even if it's just another thousand or so words of fanfic.

I can twist at the waist today without experiencing terrific pain. Huzzah!

Also managed to clean the cat box in between naps. It might not sound like much, but it's the most strenuous thing I've done since the hysteroscopy.

Slept most of the day. Managed to get 1000+ words of writing done.

Also ordered the first season of Freakazoid! from Columbia House. Wonderful stuff... here's the intro and their Emergency Broadcast System spot:

In other news... my back's better today, but I'm now bleeding like the proverbial stuck pig. *sigh*

Ooh, pretty cats.

The pain, as they say, is tremendous.

My uterus? Happy as a clam. Barely even bleeding. But my spine? You'd think I'd let someone embed an icepick in it.

Placed a call to the gynecologist to find out exactly WHAT he said to me in the recovery room, because I was stoned out of my gourd. I think he said that the fibroid is almost filling up my uterine cavity, but that might have been the meds talking. His assistant told me he'll return my call on Monday.

In the meantime, I'm limping around the apartment like an 80 year old. *grumbles in a crotchety fashion*

I limped back in my front door at about 6 pm. The exploratory procedure went beautifully, at least as far as what I can remember the gynecologist telling me when I was in post-op recovery. They took some pictures and a biopsy and did a D&C while they were in there.

More importantly, I was TOTALLY not present for the surgery. As well as a 1 mg sublingual Lorazepam pre-surgery they give me a spinal block and then a two-drug combo in my IV that sent my mind sideways into a dimly lit stained glass window; when I came back out of the planes of color and shadow I was already in the recovery room. My butt is still somewhat numb and my husband doesn't trust me to walk on my own. More worrisome is the sharp pain I'm experiencing in my spine at the injection site. Does anyone know if that type of pain is common after a spinal block?

Yeah, not very eloquent, but I'm still partially drugged up. Going to sleep like the dead tonight, bet your fur. Grshtrikibbble!

In spite of my miserable head cold which is showing distinct signs of moving into my lungs, the anesthesiologist has cleared me for exploratory surgery tomorrow. Instead of a general anesthetic they're going to use a spinal anesthetic and give me an oral tranquillizer, so I'll be awake for the procedure. Just what I did NOT want. The only way I can back out of it now is if I start running a fever.

Taxes are done. Finally.

Forgot to pick up the medication I need to insert in my *cough* "womminly places* tomorrow prior to surgery; eastpath is being nice enough to pick it up for me while she's out instead.

Found a local baker who makes a chocolate cake made only with dark chocolate, eggs, and butter. They also make a dairy-free version which is what I'll be serving after the athame consecration ritual this evening.

Trying not to be too nervous about the hysteroscopy, and not succeeding very well.

http://www.morecowbell.dj/

Behold: "Cuban Pete" with more cowbell AND Christopher Walken:

http://www.morecowbell.dj/listen?id=BJ8F3s

Or "Let The River Run" if you're in more of a ballad sort of mode (less Walken, more cowbell):

http://www.morecowbell.dj/listen?id=C07dfS

Silliness...

The tax numbers are ready for the accountant tomorrow.

Why do sinus infections seem to drain half of one's brain power?

In other news, I think I have the end of the "Divide" fic series in mind now. Not a cheerful story at all. The working title is "Ruin".

Sick as a dog. No film at eleven.

Still got about an hour on the taxes. Tomorrow we see the accountant. Oh, fucking joy.

Gotta phone the hospital tomorrow and see if they'll even consider the exploratory procedure on Thursday.

Depressed and hurting. That's about all.

I've actually written almost 2500 words today. And I'm about to start work on my first piece of fan art in... *counts* must be fourteen or fifteen years.

Not bad for someone who feels like they've been beaten with a bag full of hammers.

Oh lordy, I am so sick.

Not flu-sick (thank the Gods), but agonized-sinuses-and-blowtorched-throat sick, with an aching back thrown in for good measure. It came down on me like a ton of bricks late yesterday evening and I woke up this morning feeling miserable. And I have to do accounting stuff today. What a time to have half of my brain on vacation due to an infection.

Also feeling depressed, which inevitably goes hand-in-hand with illness as far as I'm concerned. Any words of encouragement would be oh, so greatly appreciated.

Off to drink a big cup of coffee, down two extra-strength Aspirin, and try (hah!) to write some fan fiction. I don't think I'm up to anything more intellectually strenuous at the moment.

Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...

The Harlequin

You scored 21% Cardinal, 49% Monk, 47% Lady, and 41% Knight!

Take The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test at HelloQuizzy

Gacked from catness...

Created by OnePlusYou - Online Dating Service

Holy Hannah... my brain is still fried from my last tremendous work push. Gettin' old, I iz. [/crotchety]

Last night's Mabon ritual was wonderful. 'Nuff said.

Gotta paint a cover this afternoon. Joy!

Off to work. Woe!

Apparently Canada isn't immune from idiocy at the government level.

First, the Conservative candidate for a downtown Toronto riding has stepped down amid controversy over comments he posted on his blog.

Chris Reid, who was challenging Liberal foreign affairs critic Bob Rae in Toronto Centre, resigned after blog postings emerged in which he criticized passengers on a Greyhound bus this summer who "stood by and watched" as a man beheaded a fellow passenger, "and couldn't muster up any courage or self-sacrifice to intervene."

"This is where socialism as (sic) gotten us folks, a castrated effeminate population," he wrote on Aug. 10, more than a week after the killing of Tim McLean, 22.

Reid also called for debate on the right to carry a concealed weapon, an end to abortion and official multiculturalism, an elected Senate, and closing the CBC because of its "far left-wing bias." He said gay advocates in the Toronto Centre riding, which includes the city's gay village, tolerate the promotion of "promiscuity, drug usage and prostitution."

If this is the kind of person the Conservatives attract, I'm doubly determined to vote Liberal this time around.

Also, a company that supplies knives, flashlights and other equipment to the Canadian armed forces referred to Muslims as "rag-headed, heathen bastards" on its website as recently as Sunday when the federal government complained.

Gear Up Motors' website was replete with other jabs at women and Liberals and mocked official bilingualism and concerns about global warming.

"Jihad? I'll give you a jihad you miserable, rag-headed, heathen bastard!" said a caption posted over a photograph of a rifle-toting John Wayne.

Until Sunday, jokes and sarcastic broadsides were sprinkled throughout the website. "Gear Up Motors is proud to be a fluently bilingual organization. We speak English and American," the company declared at one point.

A disclaimer intended to be humourous included: "Not tested on animals -- we use Liberals."

Ye Gods... where DO you find people this stupid? I mean, seriously -- they thought that this kind of behavior would win them points? It boggles the mind.

Article here.

That's all I've got.

This hotel (excuse me, castle) review site, courtesy of "nightdog_barks" over on LJ, features one of the worst "don't stay here if your life depends on it" stories I have EVER come across... to wit:

2. My first course came out at dinner. Me and my by then fiance both had the lobster and seafood bisque. There was a small flower in it to make it look nice. There was a slug on my flower. I showed the waitress. At the end of the meal, Linda Moffett came out of the kitchen and asked me how everything was She never even took any money off the meal. The food sucked.

Yes, folks, a real live slug in your soup at no extra charge! A point so noteworthy it's worth mentioning twice in the same review:

8.There was a slug in my bisque!

Points 1 and 3-7 are also LOL-inducing. Long story short: Castle Moffett? Never. Nope. Not ever. And certainly not at $470 CDN per night.

Courtesy of Boston.com's photo article on hurricanes as seen from orbit...

( Beautiful. Stunning. Awe-inspiring. )

Detailed information about these shots, and many others, is available on the site linked above.

Just... incredible. What a marvelous age we live in, to have such images available to us.

Images from Shorpy... original sizes are much, incredibly, amazingly larger.

Carbon Copies: 1935
"Bethesda, Maryland. Chevy Chase School, 1935." We backspace to another typing class. National Photo Company Collection safety negative



Original size here.

Ruins of the City: 1904
"Baltimore Fire of 1904. Electric Railway Powerhouse." Out third view from the Great Fire. National Photo Company Collection glass negative.



Original size here.

Boy Most Likely to Explode: 1940
"Montgomery High School students." An amusing (or maybe unsettling) class portrait from Montgomery County, Maryland. The Library of Congress says circa 1936; we've found a number of clues that narrow it down to 1939-40. See the comments for details. National Photo Company safety negative



Original size here.

Gods, how I love Shorpy, even if it is one of the greatest time-wasters on the planet.

Crossword puzzle inkers are the most underappreciated members of their industry.



A terrific backhanded commentary on how things work in the world of comics. "No, really... pencillers are TEH BABE MAGNETS!"

Dear M&M Meat Shops:

Last night we tried a new product from your chain, Chicken ‘n Dumplings, and would be happy to buy it again... minus the dumplings.

Don't get us wrong, the dumplings were tasty enough, but the room they took up in the pan left less space for the chicken stew portion of the dish, which was truly lovely. In fact, if in future you were to offer the chicken stew for sale on its own, we'd snap it right up. It tastes terrific over brown rice.

Nice job, M&M Meat Shops! Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

Our Household

This morning George and I went out grocery shopping in a serious way: $250 at Safeway and $95 at M&M Meats. We now have the satisfying feeling of a full freezer, fridge, and pantry. (The guy who carried our delivered groceries up 3 flights of stairs was also happy with his $10 tip. Hey, if I can avoid hauling a huge-ass box of cat litter to the third floor I'm happy to reward someone else for accomplishing the task.)

And guess what showed up in the mail today? The athame for the Full Moon Group inner court! I'll try to remember to post pictures of it here after we consecrate it on September 16th; it's not fitting that anyone else sees it before the IC group, but trust me, it's simply gorgeous.

Fanfic is still flowing from my overworked brain. And work is... work. Lots of it and not enough hours in the day.

Back to it, I suppose. Tonight we have M&M Meats Chicken and Dumplings for supper -- a new product, but I have high hopes given their track record of creating excellent dishes.

(And a mini-rant... remember Dennis Leary's famous routine about coffee-flavored coffee?



Why the fuck can't they make shampoo-scented shampoo? I tried to get a basic shampoo today and found myself confronted with almost a hundred different products, none of which fit the bill. Gah!)

Okay. Work. Really.

That Time of the Month is coming fast. How can I tell? Hellacious cravings and crazy mood swings. That whacky, whacky PMS!

Still working my ass off. Still writing. When all this is over, I'll probably spend at least two days just lying on the couch and staring at the walls if the bastard voices in my head will let me.

I have to do 8 and 9 pages a day, alternating, for the next 10 days. George has indicated that he should be able to help me out with 2 a day unless his own editor cracks the whip.

The "Divide" series is proceeding; it's hard to find the time to input all the information that's streaming out of my brain. *orders Bob and Megabyte to SHUT UP FOR FIVE MINUTES, thank you, and of course they don't... it's a cliche that characters take on a life of their own, but well, sometimes they DO...*

George and I went out for lunch at Niko's (fish and chips for him, a chicken gyro with salad and rice for me). On the way back we stopped at Starbucks and I now have a sugar-free soy milk latte.

Aaaand in the catagory of "links you probably shouldn't click and which will change your worldview if you do"... Pizza Stix at urbandictionary.com. Not safe for work like woah. You have been warned.

Back to work. Again. So tired...

( Funny animals under the cut )

Sarah Palin asks the library how she can go about banning books, since some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them.

Stein says that as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. "She asked the library how she could go about banning books," he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. "The librarian was aghast." That woman, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn't be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire Baker for not giving "full support" to the mayor.

And the article contains other WTF?-inducing examples of her conduct.

I do believe that anyone who'd seriously vote for this woman for VP needs to have their head examined. If her actions in this case weren't a sterling example of anti-American thinking (or at least against the standards of freedom that America generally claims to uphold), I don't know what is.

Courtesy of alu_chan... Totally adorable! A must-see!



OMFG I IZ DED OF TEH KYUTE!11!!1!

Painting to the right of me... fanfic to the left of me...

(Go here for a link to a reading of "The Charge of the Light Brigade" by Tennyson himself, recorded on Edison wax cylinder back in 1890. When I played it on our computer, Emmie, who had been sound asleep in one of the studio chairs, suddenly sat up and stared at the computer intently with her head bobbing up and down, licking her lips every so often. This leads me to believe that she is either (a) the reincarnation of the great poet himself reacting to the distant sound of his own voice, or (b) just weird.)

It's been a very busy couple of days.

The finished version of "Wishes", now titled "Sleepless" (in a classic example of Names That Should Have Been Obvious From The Start), is available here. Comments are sweeter than chocolate.

Off to work again, taking breaks every couple of hours to pound out the prose that's pouring into my brain from wherever creative writing comes from. Perhaps my own personal Muse. Perhaps the same dimension that swallows lost socks.

Yes, I am getting a little bit punch-drunk. Is it that obvious?

Courtesy of Shorpy.com, that wonderous source of old photos. Links lead to MUCH larger versions of the pictures. The detail is astounding.

The Office: 1923



Multi-Processor Computing:1924



How things have changed... I sometimes wonder what people from that era would have thought if they could have caught a glimpse of the world of 2008.

Found via an email from a family member, the amazing dance troupe Pilobolus:



A longer and even more impressive display of their talents can be found here, when they performed on the Conan O'Brien show.

They truly challenge your assumptions about what the human body is capable of. Great stuff.

Sweet jumping Jesus!

The short version: Three Christian colleges in the States are turning out pharmacists who are going to refuse women things like birth control and the morning after pill because it's, well, JUST PLAIN WRONG. And the government is actually going to let them.

*ponders*

You know, I'm aware that my hackles are still up over the Westboro Baptist Church's attempt to invade Canada and spew filth on our soil. Therefore I'm also aware that this news of the latest success of Christian fundamentalists in hijacking the system of my friends down south is making me MUCH more angry than it should.

But someone has to take a stand and do something -- anything -- to stop these... no. I have no words. Just rage.

Dammit, I've had ReBoot on my mind all day... so I dug up the first episode on YouTube. In three parts, with some wonderful Bob/Megabyte stuff.

I found it, over at The ASCII Archives:

"What DID Hex put into that bomb?" Bob said miserably.

Go, and read. :-) There are some spelling mistakes and the phrasing is occasionally awkward, but the whole idea is so charmingly done that this story remains one of my favorites even though I'm no longer a ReBoot fan.

In case you don't know what the characters look like...

A pic of Hexadecimal.

A pic of Bob.

A pic of Megabyte.

And what the heck... pics of the entire cast!

I'm hoping that one of you who reads this blog can give me a hand in finding a copy of a fic that I read years ago, and which I just discovered I only have a partial archive of. It's called "Rabbits", it's Bob/Megabyte (from the ReBoot universe), and it has always been one that I remember fondly. Mighty were the cries of "OH NOES!" when I discovered that I only have about half of it backed up, and I can't find it anywhere on Teh Intarwebs.

(I know, it's a long shot. But stranger things have happened. And even if nobody DOES know where I can get a copy, I'm inclined to post what I've got to my blog because there's a chance that others might enjoy it.)

How Long Will Americans Stay Apathetic To The Reality - Funny bloopers R us

I can, because I'm going to have one.

My gynecologist for this case, Dr. B, is a pleasant and businesslike fellow in his mid-forties. He went over my medical history and medications, and then explained that in cases like mine, where fibroids present in a woman's forties, it's often impossible to tell whether the increased clotting/fresh blood during menstruation is a result of the fibroids or part of the normal aging process. Normally they look at medication as the first option for treatment, but because I'm already on a cocktail of meds for a serious mood disorder he doesn't want to risk interfering with that. So we moved on to surgical options, and the first step in any case is to get a closer look inside my uterus.

That's where the diagnostic hysteroscopy comes in. ( All kinds of medical info behind the cut )

I'll probably be called in for the hysteroscopy sometime in October. To say that I'm nervous and scared is an understatement, but there really isn't a choice here: I have to know what's going on.

Dr. B also performed an internal exam, which didn't have me climbing the walls the way it normally does. He was very gentle and talked me through each step. Obviously he's had experience dealing with vaginismus in other patients and I was grateful for his considerate attitude. But it was still a rough couple of minutes. It always is.

Off to comfort myself with a couple of two-bite brownies, bought especially for this occasion. Sugar and fat be damned! Full steam ahead!

Fucking fibroids.

Today the period cramps are so bad that my eyes are crossing.

Not to mention that I'm bleeding like a stuck pig.

AND Poise has discontinued the menstrual product that I use most often. Yes, their panties were similar to Depends, but more streamlined and comfortable. *screams*

If George teases me with "It's FUN being a girl!" one more time, I'm going to go postal.

Details here.

For my fellow Pagans who follow this blog, there will be a "rolling thunder" healing process taking place tonight and tomorrow.

Zell-Ravenheart is currently undergoing further tests to see if the cancer has spread, and if radiation and chemotherapy will be needed. A group of practitioners who have been doing coordinated healing magic for Oberon's wife Morning Glory (who was diagnosed with bone cancer in 2006) will be engaging in a "Rolling Thunder"* coordinated healing working tonight and tomorrow.

"So, tomorrow is the full moon, and I know that many of you will be doing ritual for OZ anyway, and I'd like to see us return to this tradition, so I'm calling a Rolling Thunder for Oberon to begin at 9 PM. That's always local time, and that's for Saturday, August 16th. For those across the international dateline, for whom it is already Saturday, or if it's more convenient to pick it up when it rolls across to Sunday, August 17th, that's fine as well. Generally we continue the roll for at least 48 hours, to accommodate people who hear about the roll late, and just to keep pushing the energy and accelerating the wave."


I hope you'll consider taking part and lending some prayer/magical energy to his healing. Colon cancer is generally very nasty, and I'm sure he needs all the help he can get right now.

I just got back from a quick trip out of the house (going stir-crazy again), with a Subway tuna sub on brown (extra meat) and a sugar-free vanilla iced soy milk latte from Starbucks. It's great having both stores only a half a block from our apartment building. Even on a day like today, when I'm feeling fairly shitty physically, they're still within reach.

I believe it was Louis Black who so eloquently pointed out that "soybeans don't have titties!", so the term "soy milk" is a bit disingenuous. I don't know that much about soy juice, but I'm willing to bet that it's a lot better for me in the fat department than cow's milk, and hey -- I actually like the taste, although how good a soy milk latte is varies from chain to chain. For example, the ones made at Starbucks are yummy (although I can't stand their coffee products otherwise) and the ones made at Second Cup are hideous (although I otherwise find their coffee palatable, if not quite up to the standard set by Tim Hortons). The two chains obviously use different brands of soy products.

Apparently soy protein is also good for Type II diabetics, with a protective effect against kidney damage. Or so I've read. I'll have to ask the diabetic dietician about that the next time I see her.

Oh, and guess what showed up on our doorstep (literally) today? A DVD from Columbia House, specifically The Spiderwick Chronicles. Gah! I missed one of those little "send this in or else you get to pay for a video" cards. Ah, Columbia House, you are an albatross around my neck! Yea, verily, the first five movies we got from you for a ridiculously low price were wonderful, but ever since then you've created more paperwork and worry in our lives. *shakes fist impotently in the general direction of Ontario*

Okay. Back to work.

EDITED TO ADD: *sigh* Allow me to be perfectly clear about something.

I'm not saying that my own home country, Canada, is absolutely blameless when it comes to immigration issues.

But what happened to Hiu Lui Ng is beyond heinous. It is a sterling example of depraved indifference.

That said...

A man whose US immigration notice was sent to the wrong address is detained with untreated spinal cancer until he dies, denied access to his wife and children.

Let me repeat that, with feeling:

A man whose US immigration notice was sent to the wrong address is detained with untreated spinal cancer until he dies, denied access to his wife and children.

He was seized, detained for months, accused of "faking" when he complained about the pain of the undiagnosed cancer, denied medical diagnosis and treatment, refused even a wheelchair when he got so weak that he couldn't walk, and eventually died in custody AND in agony.

I have to ask the majority of Americans (not necessarily the Americans on my Friends list, but those who have been saying that everything is hunky-dory in the "from sea to shining sea" land south of our border)...

... what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Can't you see that your country is becoming a police state, with all the inhumanity and thuggery that goes along with it?

When will you finally get fed up enough to demand accountability from your government? When will you stop listening to the feel-good spin of CNN and start smelling the blood?

How did you let things get to this point?

Maybe I'm just sensitized because of the Westboro Baptist Church creeps who recently entered our country illegally, but honestly... what happened to Hiu Lui Ng is fundamentally wrong and absolutely disgusting.

So, what are you going to do about it?